Poetry of the Apes
"This is bad poetry that says
-Rodney Chester of Australia's Courier-Mail Newspaper
Ape Poetry, The Scene
How To Tell If You Are at Ozzfest
or Dodge Poetry Fest
You know you're at Ozzfest when Ozzy bites the head off a dove. You know
you're at Dodgefest when the governor of New Jersey bites the head off
Ape Culture: Haiku Capital of the World!!
Bless you! Molly Denver immortalizes the very mortal members of the 80s
pop band A-Ha with the very delicate art of haiku.
Battle of the Bills!
Mary defends Bill Pullman and Julie defends Bill Paxton using the disciplined,
ancient Japanese form of warfare: HAIKU!
Bring Back the Dawn (Breakfast
- it's not just for kids anymore)
Haikus about breakfast cereal icons - and just like a little breakfast
box of Lucky Charms, they're magically delicious!
Come Sail Away, Rock Cruise Haiku
- Take a cruise ship vacation with Journey, REO Speedwagon and Styx! Nerdia
and Coolia ruminate on the possibilities!
Dreadful Haikus for American Idol
Not another commercial break to plug the Ford Focus?!?
Julie Wiskirchen, Christine Horace, and Nova Gutierrez bide their weekly
American Idol time writing haikus.
Haikus for a Half-Breed
Christopher Brisson turns the awesome spotlight of haiku on the super-fabulous
subject of Cher. 30 kus in all!
Haiku Memoir of a Cardinal Fan
Coolia pays tribute to the pennant-winning 2004 St. Louis Cardinals, while
looking back on Cardinal heroes of the past
Heavy-Metal Love Haikus
They're raunchy, they're raw and they ridicule the very male divas they
love....don't miss the fun and the sentimental memories that are Heavy
Metal Love Haikus.
Heavy Metal Haikus - Part II
Hair band refugees Jimmy Fahrenheit and Magnus Thornbjorn present a brand
new set of heavy metal haikus, alternatively rocking you like a hurricane
and giving you the refreshing pause of silent lucidity.
Now I've Seen Everything! Haikus
Read our haikus about the products you only want when you're stuck on
a plane for 4 hours, including fish head beverage coolers, a hot dog cooker,
and a whole page of haiku dedicated to our favorite item-
the garden baby.
Now I've Seen Everything
Again! Haikus for Skymall 2
A Pathetic Haiku Tribute for American
Idol's Simon Cowell
He's the reason we got sucked into watching American Idol all Summer,
so we figured he deserved a haiku tribute. Yes, Simon, the question remains:
how have we remained undiscovered for so long???
The Sanjaya Mala-kus
Mary Ladd likes Sanjaya and she's written haikus to explain herself.
St. Lou Haiku
Ape Culture editors, Mary Ladd and Julie Wiskirchen publish a book of
haikus about their hometown on Timberline Press.
Teen Crush Haikus Vol 1 and Vol
Tributes to fleeting crushes that compelled us to purchase Bop! magazine
U2: The Haiku Review
We just can't get enough ku! Christine Horace, award-wining ku-master
of the infamous Kevin Spacey kus, reviews two Elevation U2 concerts in
New York and New Jersey.
U2: The Vertigo Haiku Review
This time Christine Horace takes on the 2005 Vertigo Tour.
Woo! Haikus for Taylor Hicks
Coolia pays tribute to the soul man who made us proud.
It's cheaper than pay-per-view.
A Haiku Requiem for Constantine
Julie Wiskirchen comes to terms with Constantine's dismissal from American
Ape Poetry, Formal
Poetic reviews of new releases.
Poems you can take with you to the video store.
Celebrity Scandal Limericks
A poetic survey of celebrity gossip subjects
Joe Durrant's Celebrity Love Poems
There are great American poets and then there are great American celebrity
love poets. And everyone knows a great American celebrity love poet is
hard to find. Which is why we are proud to announce Ape Culture's very
own celebrity love poet, Joe Durrant.
Limericks about Kylie Minogue
Sonnets on an American Childhood
in the Seventies
Molly Denver reflects on her childhood, formally.
The Tom Jones Acrostic Poems
They're about projectile underpants
Ape Poetry, Born Free Verse
More Celebrity Poems by Jason Henninger
Subjects of rumination are Cher and Jim Morrison
Jason Henninger is Backwith poems about Tupac, Erykah Badu, and a masterpiece collage
of love songs from the 80s
Jason Henninger's Celebrity Vignettes
Read the sad nursery rhyme on Morrisey and the true and disturbing story
set in motion by Cameron Diaz entitled "Circus Booty"!
Love Poems To The Stars!
Words obviously can't express the scope of our celebrity obsessions. We're
trying to build a monument here. Help us out. Get started on that Ricky
Schroeder poem you've always wanted to write.
Why Do You Watch Monster
Vision, Mary, Why?
Companion poem to Dead Zombies of
the Heart, Ape Culture's horror flick list.
Ape Culture and all associated pages are
ŠApe Culture 1998-2007 and evermore.