Home | Blog | Advice | Books | Features | Food | Games & Quizzes | Holidays | Media Morph | Movies | Music | Poetry
Requiems | Store | Television | Travel | About Us | Archive

Web www.apeculture.com

Heavy Metal Love Haikus

By Grace "Hacku" Hackett and Julie "Coolia" Wiskirchen

Introduction:

Hot, sweaty rhythms
In need of cold shower
Metal gods du jour

My radio plays Dream On As those lips devour me My body quivers
I'm creamy center Tyler-Perry oreo Delicious sandwich
Oh my darling Jace When you play that searing bass A smile on my face Jason, FUEL me up But I don't mean gasoline You rev my engine
Lars, norse god of drumming Intellectual in black shorts Pound me like those skins
Axe god Randy Rhoads Your angelic face haunts me After the plane crash
Ozzy, leave your wife That shrew will work you to death I'll take care of you
Blackie is wild child Extraordinarily A beast! Animal!
Yes, love me to death, Peter Steele, I've seen a lot Of you in Playgirl
Fatal if Swallowed Overkill causes mayhem Rotten to the Core
Ratt's cute blond Robin Made my heart spin round and round Tour shirt kept him close
Talk dirty to me, Bret Michaels. I want to be Your fallen angel
George, I surrender Frighten me, Mr. Scary My heart beats faster
Gene, God of Thunder Stop wiggling that tongue around Stick it down my throat

Heavy Metal Anti-Love Haiku

Ronnie James Dio Holy Diver's not bad but You look like a troll
Motorhead's Lemmy Bag your wart-covered face Can't be your groupie
Fair Sebastian Bach Flaxen-haired Skid Row singer Too pretty for me
Motley Crue had three Sexy devil-shouting studs Then there was Mick Mars...
David, Whitesnake in Your pants? Or just happy to See Tawny Kittaen?
Talentless Warrant Downfall of Heavy Metal Cherry Pie my ass!
You are scaring us And making kids cry, Ace, put Your makeup back on

Want more metal?
Visit Ape Culture's Heavy Metal Haikus - Part II

Check out Ape Culture's concert reviews.

Add your own metal haikus here.

Click here to learn about
the Ape editors' book

Check out the Ape Blog for the latest Ape Culture News and Reviews

Retrieving an Ape Card?
Enter Card Pick-up ID below:

powered by  bravenet.com