Ape Culture - Woo! Haikus for Taylor Hicks!

Woo! Haikus for Taylor Hicks!

By Julie Wiskirchen

Something bizarre happened on American Idol, Season 5. The contestant I wanted to win actually won! I can now get over Jon Peter Lewis, Matt Rogers, and Constantine Maroulis and start fresh with the newly crowned Taylor Hicks. Here are some haikus to honor this Southern gentleman's journey.

Vegas audition: Simon isn't sold, other two send him through. Whew!
Gray hair, awkward dance moves make for unlikely star. Voice and passion shine.
Ray Charles impressions, constant mugging annoy me. Taylor, be yourself!
Out of the pound, a star grows. Who says you can't teach an old dawg new tricks?
Handsome but a bit off, like George Clooney's slow twin hidden in attic.
Taylor impresses with "Levon". Connects with lyrics, makes us feel the song.
Attempts to kick mike stand over and misses. His clutziness endears.
Singing "Something," he takes on icons - Frank, Beatles and makes it his own
Shall Cowell compare thee to a drunk dad at wedding? Thou shalt not be stopped.
Final Two face off. Soul Patrol mobilizes, mans phones, secures prize.
Take one cheesy new Idol single. Taylorize. Make people proud, son.
Our Idol hyped as new Elvis; he just needs to keep being Taylor.