This all started when Julie Wiskirchen and Molly Denver
flew from New York to Chicago together recently. They invented this game
where you flip through the Skymall catalog and on every page you have
to say the one thing you want the most and one thing you want the least.
They had a hearty chuckle over the garden baby, this ugly ceramic baby
statue made to be put in your garden. From these humble beginnings, great
ku was formed. Enjoy.
| If
we had a message hat... 
here are some of the things we'd flash on
it
I'm Easy Like Sunday Morning
I Like Ska!
I Break for Famous People!
If I Had a Hammer....I'd Hammer In the Morning; Yes
I Would.
Coffee, tea, or me?
Piss off, you wanker!
My Hat Says Yes, But I'm Sayin' No
Purposefully left blank
I'm an enigma
If You Can Read This Hat Message, you're too damn
close.
I'm a Fashion Victim
I'm a nerd
Space for rent
Go Irish!
Honk if you think I'm sexy!
Frigid
Talk to the hat
Stop staring at my hat
Messages expressed in this hat are not necessarily
those held by the person under it
I'm a hat with Turrets Syndrome...fuck you...d'oh!
shit godammit!
The person wearing this hat is a dope. Shhh... Don't
tell him. |
General Sky Mall
Haiku
Can I use that ramp
To help my Chihuahua get
On top of my bed? |
 |
My dog no longer
Barks thanks to SkyMall. Now he Has a nervous tic. |
 |
In case you wondered,
This device is not helpful
On bar-dwelling men. |
 |
| My cat has always
Jealously eyed the hamster.
So I got him this. |
 |
| When you need to buy
A present for the kitty
who has everything... |
 |
Finally, i can
Organize the benjamins
Under the mattress |
 |
| My husband never
Asks for lovin' since I bought
My new slumber sack. |
 |
| Think my 'rents bought me
A car? I never even
Got a sit n spin! |
 |
| I think it would help
In bars if I wear that hat
flashing "I am drunk" |
|
| My neighbors in the
‘Burbs don’t like it when I flash
“OZZY” on my house |
 |
| Sly Pocket Pepper
Mill: handy for when you need
To make someone sneeze. |
 |
| I bought self-engraved
Awards, put them on my desk.
Folks know I'm Super! |
 |
| The Mock Rock: it mocks
Our guests, our yard, the dog; but
Then, it mocks us all. |
 |
| The latest fashion
Dictates that I purchase this.
No, he's not a purse.
How handy it is
To carry my pooch this way.
And so dignified.
I like to carry
Miles like this, but please beware
Of his flailing legs.
I'm going to get
One of these for my toddler.
Child leashes are dumb. |
 |
| Sir, may I borrow
Your laptop to order the
Oversized hammock? |
 |
| I sleep peacefully
Knowing the spider vacuum's
under my pillow. |
 |
| I'm so proud, my great
Country has invented pop-
Up hot dog cookers. |
 |
| It's been my dream to
Own a bagpipe, to keep it
From someone who plays. |
 |
| I've looked these pages
Through and through and can't find the
Travel vibrator! |
 |
| These fish head beverage
Holders make table settings
Look extra classy! |
 |
| My personalized
BBQ branding iron
Tells who cooked the beef...
This way, when you get
Food poisoned, you have data
You need to sue me.
"Your honor, the last
Thing I saw was initials -
Burned right in the steak!"
I'm sorry. Branded
Sirloin's not admissible
In a court of law. |
 |
| My boyfriend got drunk,
Threw lit cigarette at the
Blimp, yelled, "Hindenburg!" |
 |
| Thank God there's no room
In my galley kitchen for
This skinny frenchman! |
 |
|
Did they have this in
the bathroom at Studio
54, Liza?
|
 |
| Hubby's performance
Is up since I hung these prints
On our bedroom walls |
 |
| High school nerd becomes
CEO, buys overpriced
Lord of the Rings crap |
 |
| If Ape Culture had
An office, this table would
Be in the lobby, |
 |
Add your own Skymall haiku here.
