Ape Culture - Surreal Life 2005 Spring Season Review

Celebrity Zoo: Commentary on
The Surreal Life, Season 4

Starring: Da Brat, Christopher Knight, Joanie Lauer, Verne Troyer, Jane Wiedlin, Marcus Schenkenberg, Adrianne Curry

Episode 1: Nobody Puts Mini-Me in A Corner, Except Himself
Episode 2: Misadventures in Babysitting
Episode 3: Rancho Kook-a-munga
Episode 4: Pole-dancin' and Brady-romancin'
Episode 5: Pitchers with Self-control Problems
Episode 6: Love Comes Walking In, or Maybe It's Just Ron Jeremy in a Diaper
Episode 7: Joanie Loves Tragedy
Episode 8: An Alan Smithee Production
Episode 9: What is Sally Jesse Doing the Other 364 Days a Year?
Episode 10: Has-Been Seems to be the Hardest Word

Episode 8- 3/20/05

Coolia:

The cast begins to film their epic short kung-fu flick "Seven Celebrities of Death." Of course, things don't go smoothly, as Joanie tries method acting which makes her line reading unintelligible and Jane devotes too much time to unimportant issues like make-up and costumes. The lovebirds, Chris and Adrianne, fret and fume and plot to get the actual movie professionals to take over. When the movie gets so far behind schedule that it might prove impossible to finish in one day, Chris approaches Jane and asks if she would allow the Assistant Director to take over. Jane reacts the way we've come to expect The Surreal Life castmates to overreact - she cries and complains. Perhaps the schedule would have moved quicker if Chris and Adrianne hadn't lingered over their on-screen love scene. Under the helm of the Assistant Director, the cast finishes the film and we are treated to a screening. It turns out to be an amusing waste of time - both theirs and ours.

Nerdia:

It was dissapointing that the bulk of the hold up on this project (as far as we could see) was due to Janes bent toward perfection on...make-up. But as we've come to learn over the years, Surreal Life is about nothing if not gross imperfection. As we've also come to learn about Surreal Lifers, little do they ever know what they do not know...and to this, Jane is no exception. She couldn't correct herself, it would seem. She felt ganged up on by master plotter Christopher Knight...who knows what kind of mutanies he once organized among the six melodramas otherwise known as the Brady kids. In any case, the assistant director Victor got things done in they way of meeting schedule, but the end result was still lame and boring - which is usually a b-celebrities biggest fear.

Coolia’s weekly rankings:

Marcus - Leaps to the top simply by participating and not being annoying
Verne - Nice Fu Manchu look
Jane - I give her points for trying hard and then admitting when she was out of her league
Brat - Nice karate moves
Joanie - Loses points for padding her part
Adrianne - Loses points for acting like her stunt of falling 3 feet onto a pile of empty cardboard boxes was Indiana Jones class
Chris - He's really coming off as arrogant and the PDA with Adrianne is hard to look at

Nerdia’s weekly rankings:

I hated every celebrity in this episode; the only person in the whole episode I liked was Victor. Christopher and Adrianne are bugging the hell out of me with their weird romance, Christopher thinks he's a pro, Jane forgets art and surreal life are polar opposites, Verne and Marcus are stage props, and Joanie, as mentioned above, chews up the scenery.

Your thoughts?

Read Ape Culture's commentary on Surreal Life Season 1
Read Ape Culture's commentary on Surreal Life Season 2
Read Ape Culture's commentary on Surreal Life Season 3

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