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A Haiku Requiem for Constantine

By Julie Wiskirchen

Last week, I watched in shock as my favorite contestant, Constantine Maroulis, got voted off American Idol. This hurt me more than last year's devastating dismissal of JPL. It's true, Constantine may not have been the best singer, but he was certainly better than scary girlfriend-beater Scott Savol and Boy Band reject Anthony Federov who remain in the running. Since Constantine's run on American Idol was as brief as a haiku, I decided to commemorate it and cope with my pain in that poetic form.


Rock god separates
from band and strives to convert
the lost pop masses.

He catches my eye--
long hair, rock star swagger. Wish
we'd met back in Queens.

Imperfect teeth and
pitch, but smile, charisma, ripped
jeans more than suffice.

Hollywood drama
Bo makes the cut, so does Con.
Top thirty rocks hard.

Bo uses talent,
Constantine shows sex appeal.
Both make the top twelve.

vocally in early weeks.
Chicks vote, keep him safe.

Constantine, I think
I love you, even when you
sing that Partridge crap

Owning the stage, he
makes love to the camera
"Smoldering Idol"


He dares to wear the
white jacket for disco week,
fills Travolta's shoes

No Wayne's World laughs greet
Constantine's "Bohemian
Rhapsody". Awesome!


Sub-par performance
but certainly not the worst.
Fan base deserts Con.

Paula cries, hugs his
Mom. Audience gasps. On stage,
Constantine's gracious.

While conspiracy
echo, I guess old
fans like me don't vote.

Constantine sent home!?!
This is how you remind me
America's dumb.

I feel sick until
I spy Con's old band's album
climbing up the charts

Constantine, please don't
despair. Quick! Try out to be
INXS singer!

Visit the official website of Pray For The Soul of Betty - Constantine's old band

Visit a Yahoo! Group to commiserate with other Constantine Fans

Visit Fox's Official American Idol site

Read our haikus on American Idol - Season 1

Read our haiku tribute to Simon Cowell

Ride the American Idol Audition Simulator

Read More poetry and haiku


Struggling to get over the loss of Constantine? Boycotting American Idol? Share your pain here (haikus optional).


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