Simon's cattiness,
tight T-shirts make some suspect
he's queer. I hope not!

Black and white T-shirts
We have the same uniform
tops in our closets.

Sexy British guys
with such nasty attitudes
can sleep in my bed

On a first date with
Simon? Don't dare sing along
with the radio

Known for bad yellow
teeth, Cowell beats stereo-
type of Brits. Dazzling!

Simon's right eyebrow
Arches ever so slightly.
My heart skips a beat

Sending tingles up
my spine, the way Simon says, "Congratulations."

Cowell says what we
all think but fear to say. Tears
fall, pipe dreams explode.

Wondering what is
under that tight T-shirt. 'Net
search is revealing.

Paula says that young
Simon didn't get enough
love. I'll compensate.

Simon's white teeth make
Crest Whitestrips advert likely
for next Idols show

Don't ask Si if your
dress makes you look fat if you
can't handle the truth

Simon, I'll shag you.
Just don't call my performance
in bed "appalling."