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Holiday Blights

Christmas in Yonkers

by M.E. Ladd; photographs by Julie Wiskirchen

This is the 2nd in a series of Ape Culture investigative features on the picturesque town of Yonkers, NY, where pop culture has gone seriously wrong.

Our stealth photography captures Christmas cheer so utterly grotesque, it may be difficult for people with even low-brow taste to view. Viewer discretion is advised.

Christmas Squiggles and Parabolas

This house, in an image, illustrates what is wrong with inexperienced Christmas yard displays today. In a word - excess. It begs the question, is there a house under that?

Christmas in America
or Nuclear Santa

The ornaments upstage the US flag - those Stars and Stripes should be blinking.

Holy Hodgepodge

This scene portrays British soldiers, presumably Jews, marching on an invisible manger in Bethlehem. They bear no gifts. Rudolph, with a mechanical moving head, stops in for a nosh.

Winter Inferno

An electrical ice storm throws up on this house.

Fences of Joy

Understated simplicity is a prohibited concept for these display artisans. An intimidating perimeter fence protects this assortment of beauty from the likes of holiday blight tourists, such as ourselves, and international smugglers.

The following showcase house (at the intersection of Roberts Avenue and Nepperhan), the jewel of this Yonkers Christmas Tour, consists of not one, but two sides of a yard area overrun with Christmas Zombies. We call this piece -

Night of the Living Reborn,
in plastic

East side

North side


Christmas Grimace

Note the faces of these snow-zombies: monuments of the sub-textual horror of being a frozen man at Christmastime.


Mafia Snowman

A good close-ups photograph reveals the quality of the display items.

This fine collection contains hollow, electric-illuminated plastic manufactured from the far corners of this earth and local Yonkers retail dealers, where plastic Christmas paraphernalia is at a premium.

Ape Culture hopes you have enjoyed this tour of Christmas in Yonkers and we'd like to wish you a simple, unadorned Christmas without visual assault. We'd also like to leave you with the following messages: shop responsibly and remember, there's an energy shortage. Keep all unnecessary lights off. Thank you and happy holidays.


Check out our photo essays of Dykers Heights, Brooklyn's Christmas yard displays--the biggest and brightest in New York - and Christmas on Candy Cane Lane in Woodland Hills, CA

Read Profiling Santa: Growing up Jewish, Max Burbank learned everything he needed to know about Santa from those delightful Rankin/Bass specials.

Read more about Yonkers as Ape Culture's Gentleman of Leisure reviews Nathans/Pizza Hut/TCBY emporium in Yonkers, New York.

Hate Christmas office parties? Dodging It's a Wonderful Life on TV 24/7? Tell us what Christmas blights really stick a Santa-butt up your chimney - in the Ape Culture forum!


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