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Little Pink Haunted Houses For
You and Me

By Julie Wiskirchen and Mary Ladd

Billboard reports that Stephen King and John Cougar Mellencamp are collaborating on a Broadway musical about a haunted house. We at Ape Culture know how busy these two guys are so we decided to help them write the songs.

I Fight Authority (Authority Takes the Shape of My Worst Fear)

It's a Lonely Ole Night. Can I put my thinning tommyknockers around you?

I buried my kid behind the Pet Semetary, was terrorized by my car and a big rabid dog, got pig blood dumped on my head and I ain't even done with the night.

I Fight Authority (Authority has an Axe)

Blood on the scarecrow. Blood pretty much everywhere...

I was born in a small town in Maine. I live in a small town in Maine. All my novels take place in a small town in Maine. I'll probably die in a small town in Maine. In fact, I almost died in a small town in Maine last year when I got hit by a minivan.

I Fight Authority (Authority Put a Curse on Me and Now I'm Losing a lot of Weight)

Sometimes being tied to a bed and having your ankles broken doesn't feel like it should but...it hurts so good.

Everyone needs a pin-up poster to hide their escape tunnel behind.
Everyone needs a thing to be needful of.
Everyone needs a dead hand to hold on to.

V.I.R.U.S. in the U.S.A.

I Fight Authority (Authority Starts Fires with her Mind)

When Tim Curry clown makeup comes crumbling down, when the clown comes crumbling down...It comes crumbling, crumbling!

Little ditty about Jack Torrance and Diane, a burned out couple caretaking in Colorado land. Jack was gonna be a fiction star. Diane caught him typing the same line over and over again and visiting the haunted hotel bar. Oh yeah, life after death goes on. Long after the thrill of livin' is gone.

I need a lover who won't drive me crazy. I need a lover who won't drive me crazy.
I need a lover who won't drive me crazy. I need a lover who won't drive me crazy.
I need a lover who won't drive me crazy. I need a lover who won't drive me crazy.
I need a lover who won't drive me crazy. I need a lover who won't drive me crazy.
I need a lover who won't drive me crazy. I need a lover who won't drive me crazy.
I need a lover who won't drive me crazy. I need a lover who won't drive me crazy.
I need a lover who won't drive me crazy. I need a lover who won't drive me crazy.
I need a lover who won't drive me crazy. I need a lover who won't drive me crazy.
I need a lover who won't drive me crazy. I need a lover who won't drive me crazy.
I need a lover who won't drive me crazy. I need a lover who won't drive me crazy.
I need a lover who won't drive me crazy.

Add your King/Mellencamp song suggestions here.

 

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