The marketability of prefabricated male popstars whose
appeal relies on neoteny (retention of some larval or immature characters
in adulthood) is undeniable. The success of groups such as N'Sync
and Backstreet Boys merely foreshadowed
Dream Street (Frankie,
16; Greg, Chris and Matt 15, Jesse 14, all selected from Broadway and
or television for their singing, dancing, and pre-pubescence), Aaron
Carter, the "Little Prince of Pop" (age 13.5) and Lil'
Bow Wow (age 14). Recent Billboard
numbers for Lil' Romeo (age 11.5)
show potential for geometric inverse earning potentials when graphed against
declining age. These facts in mind, I offer to the highest bidder the
COLIC Heavy Metal headbangers have always
marketed to the pre-pube set, but they've yet to truly exploit... until
COLIC! Thrashing and screaming, meet turning purple and soiling yourself
as Scrawny, Dogwhistle, Gums and Mr. Meconium teach you the meaning of
fear on their "Post Partum Post Haste" tour!
"Lil' Pr3mie"' Ngyuen, African American / Vietnamese Pop Sensation:
born six months premature and weighing less than a pound, had already
won a daytime Emmy as the mysterious and alluring "Shockingly Premature
Infant Left on Rae Cummings Doorstep" on All My Children
and his first single "Overstimulated" went #1 with a bullet.
Though his first album Screamin' 24-7 has yet to be released,
the "Hap'nin Homunculus" has already sparked a fashion trend
as teenage girls around the country dress up in homemade incubators to
attend his sold-out concerts.
PHETAL PHIVE Mark,
Billy, Paul, Raul and Cletus (the cute one) have yet to be born, but that
doesn't mean they don't rock the fertility clinic with their signature
Dixie/Techno Sound! Their debut video "(let me take U2) Ultrasound
Town" directed by Ang Lee was the U-pick video on Nickelodeon for
three consecutive months. In addition to their music and synchronized
swim moves The New York Times called "...Disturbing",
they're so young Raul and Cletus don't even have eye buds!
THE STEM SELLS
can you say about a power rock trio in a Petri Dish? Their debut CD If
I Love You (Has My Life Begun?) has Trent Lott raving "If this
music ain't live, I don't know what is!"
new DVD concept package Conceiving You is probably not yet ready
for the Nickelodeon / Disney Target audience and should possibly be test
marketed in Europe before I even describe it to you.