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Once a Fat Ass...

Note: This article was written and posted on Ape Culture way back in the early months of 1999, way before Wikopedia existed or any wide-spread knowledge that Trey Parker or Matt Stone based the character of Cartman on Archie Bunker.

Once in a lifetime, a writer has a real epiphany, a time when once disparate life elements come together in a moment of clarity and time and the universe achieves a sort of balance previously unimaginable. It takes a steel trap of a mind and the heart of a poet, it does. So it was only a matter of time before this writer put two and two together one day while laying on the couch, noshing on popcorn and watching All In The Family on Nick At Nite. Nearly choking on a fluffy cloud of imploded corn, I realized suddenly that Archie Bunker is Eric Cartman. Eric Cartman grows up to be Archie Bunker.

I saw it clear as day in episode #7.1, "Archie's Secret Passion" (originally airing 12/4/1976). Estelle Parsons (Roseanne's mom from the TV Show Roseanne) plays Dolores Mancheney, the girl Archie once had a fling with while engaged to Edith long, long ago…the double standard episode. Meathead is sitting in Edith’s chair trying to explain something to Archie about the Double Standard and Archie is sitting in his chair with his head against the side, whining in a very Cartman-esque voice: “I don’t give a damn.”

It was Cartman, I tell ya, clear as day. I shuddered at the perfect rightness of it, except that Cartman grows up in Colorado and Archie is apparently from Queens. Maybe Archie had a secret past. Maybe he isn’t really a native New Yorker after all. Maybe this was all just fraudulent back story. I can’t yet reconcile how a child of the 90s grew up to be a middle-aged ogre of the 70s, but so like television, every answer just leaves you with many more questions.

Yours in TV-Doppelgangerdom,
Mary Ladd

Eric Cartman

Archie Bunker

Fat Ass Fat Ass
White White
Intolerant Intolerant
Stupid Stupid
Self-absorbed Self-absorbed
Round-headed little kid Round-headed old geezer
Hint of a Louie DePalma's soft heart
(for Wendy in the Library)
Had a soft spot for his daughter, Gloria

Has a special relationship with Sally Struthers

Has a special relationship with Sally Struthers


Tirades. Yelling is his normal decibel. I can easily see him calling people Meathead and Dingbat
Tirades. Yelling is his normal decibel.
I can easily picture him once raging over which Mega Men he wanted for his birthday.
Would definitely buy into the Double Standard when he grows up Doesn’t disappoint on that score
Hint of a befuddled Intelligence when the situation calls for it Okay…that must not have been nurtured appropriately
A singing talent (Cheesy Poof commercials, "Come Sail Away", Swiss Colony Beef Log song, "O Holy Night") Sang his own theme song ("Those Were The Days": "Boys were boys, and men were men")

Doting female mother

Doting female wife

Mocking voice when disrespecting something Mocking voice when disrespecting something

Essentially racist (and everything-ist) but humorously outwitted by Starvin Marvin


Essentially racist (and everything-ist) but humorously outwitted by Lionel Jefferson

Politically Correct by showing us the wrong way to be

Politically correct by showing us the wrong way to be

“Screw you guys, I’m going home” “Screw youse guys. I’m going down to Kelseys”



Some misguided person thinks there are similarities between Homer Simpson and Archie.

Tell us your thoughts on the Archie/Cartman comparison.

 

 

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