Have you been wasting precious work minutes filling out those "get to know" you questionnaires your friends forward? Do you find that they are not really helping you get to know your friends? Are you yearning for juicier info than their favorite colors and former jobs? Have we got the questionnaire for you! Simply cut and paste the following text into an email, spam your mailing list, and see if anyone dares respond. Best case scenario - you'll find out some good dirt. Worst case scenario - you won't get any answers, but you'll hopefully get removed from some acquaintances' mass mailing lists.
Please fill out the attached questionnaire. Be sure to send it back to the person who sent it to you and forward it to all of your friends. Now let's REALLY get to know each other!!
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What's the strangest place you've made whoopee?
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Name a part of your body you detest.
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What is your most painful childhood memory?
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Describe how you lost your virginity.
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Name 4 porno movies you watch over and over.
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Name something you have shoplifted.
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What's the highest your credit card debt has ever been?
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Name something you've done to sabotage a friend, family member, or co-worker.
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List three things that annoy you about the person who sent you this survey.
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If you could kill one member of your family with no repercussions, who would you pick?
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On a scale of 1-10, rate your self-esteem.
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Name a celebrity of the opposite sex whose bones you would like to jump.
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Name a celebrity of the same sex whose bones you would like to jump.
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List a medical problem you had that you were embarrassed to talk to the doctor about.
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When was the last time you voted and who did you vote for?
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Deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, do you want Col. Jessup on that wall?
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When was the last time you picked your nose? Did you get caught?
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When was the last time you farted?
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Women: do you groom yourself "down there"?
Men: how long is it?
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How much money do you make?
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How much money does your dad make?
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Have you ever considered suicide? When and why? What method?
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Have you ever been so drunk or high you didn't remember what you did? What did your friends later tell you that you did?
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Have you ever had an abortion or paid for someone to have one?
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Was potty training easy for you?
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If you could eliminate one religion from the face of the earth, which one would you pick?
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Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? What about in a sleazy dive bar?
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Have you ever eaten a lot of junk food and then thrown it up on purpose?
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Four friends I've tagged who I think will respond because they have nothing better to do. They really have no lives.
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Four friends I've tagged who I don't even like. I don't know why I still have them on my email list. I should really streamline my life.
