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IT’S A WOODY-ALLEN-FUL LIFE
Come on! What are you afraid of? Going to jail and being raped by bitter criminals who were once molested as children? Awww, don’t worry. You’re a celebrity. Like Sophia Loren, whose dead-beat husband let her do tax-evasion time in an Italian prison while he skipped free, you will be hoteled in a posh penitentiary, not in some dungeon like a common criminal. Everyone is awestruck around celebrities…even stupid and naughty ones…even the guards will treat you nice and ask for your autograph. You will get a best-selling memoir out of the experience. And come out pretty Mike-Tyson-A-OK. Why should it hurt your career? A little felony never hurt a rapper! The End. Back to the Beginning of the Story
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