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TRY STARTING WITH THE MAN IN THE MIRROR

You take a good long look at yourself in the mirror. It’s painful but you deal with reality. Sex frightens you and you by-pass your unsympathetic parents and siblings and Jehovah’s Witnesses elders and you contact Merv Griffin who sets you up with a counselor who will help you come out to yourself and deal with your inner-reality and yet still maintain a straight public persona until Melissa Etheridge clears the way for gay celebrities to come out everywhere. It’s true that your female fans are disappointed when they find out, but most of them have grown up and stopped buying your records by then anyway. You let go of your Jehovah’s Witnesses crutch and start thinking for yourself. You decide that doing the right thing is more important than holding to the religious-party line. You make a comeback geared toward a new homo-soul sound (which Disco kind of was anyway) and nobody is freaked out too much. You go on to break all the same records you would have if you had not come to personal peace with yourself. You do ok, your personal life is normal in comparison to what it would have been had you repressed your feelings and popped a spring somewhere in your head and done something really heinous like molesting small boys. Whew! You did the right thing and you die happy and a role-model for other kids coming out.

The End.

Back to the Beginning of the Story

 

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